The Moon reflects the light of our Sun, and when the Moon is full that reflection is at its greatest; the Moon is positioned at the opposite side of the Earth to the Sun, enabling it to reflect fully the light of the Sun back down to us.

On an individual level, the Sun represents our “true” or “real” selves, the basic components of our characters, the “centre of gravity” of our beings. It is this centre, this real nature, in conjunction with our environment that determines most fundamentally who we are, and what we ought to do.

Yet this centre is not always consciously apparent to us. Just as the Moon reflects the light of the Sun, so our conscious mind reflects this true nature to our apprehension, and this reflection can be imperfect; the mind creates a self-image.

Our entry of January 20^th discussed idealism, and we closed with the idea that “you yourself are not what you fondly imagine yourself to be.” In this entry, we will expand on that idea further, and examine more closely this concept of what we “imagine ourselves to be.”

Each person has values, and those values include ideas as to which types of character trait are important, or valuable, or undesirable. One person may value strength of will and independence, whereas another may value sensitivity and empathy. One person may place great importance on the ability to accurately analyse and assess a situation, whereas another may emphasise a more holistic, even artistic approach, where truth is less important than romance.

The relationships between these values and the most important character of all – our own selves – is complex. Many of them arise from our own being; if we ourselves are independent and strong-minded, we may naturally ascribe a degree of importance in those qualities, and see them as being desirable. Others may arise from observation; we may value the character traits exhibited by somebody we particularly admire, or respect.

Conversely, the “negative” traits may arise in a similar way. If we place importance on being strong-willed, we may consider weakness and indecision to be undesirable traits. We may also look down on character traits exhibited by somebody we particularly dislike.

Whatever the source of these values, our self-image tends to be assessed in light of them. If we value strength of character, we will subconsciously wish to observe that characteristic in our own nature, and this desire will make it more likely that we actually will perceive that. We naturally want to be the kind of person that we would admire, and we therefore usually have a marked tendency to perceive those traits in ourselves that we admire, and to downplay those traits in ourselves that we disdain. Similarly, there is usually also a tendency to ascribe those admired characteristics to other people whom we ourselves admire, and to ascribe those disdained characteristics to other people whom we do not respect.

The existence of these values can, therefore, significantly affect both how we view ourselves, and how we view others. We subconsciously “want” both ourselves and the people we admire to exhibit the character traits that we find important, to be the kind of people that we think it is best to me, and we also subconsciously “want” the people we do not admire to exhibit those character traits we find objectionable. This phenomenon of projection can be extremely strong and deeply-rooted; we can learn a lot about ourselves by examining our reactions to others.

Those assessments that we make also reinforce those values. By ascribing the characteristics we find important to people we admire, it will appear that all those whom we admire exhibit those characteristics, which will naturally lead us all the more strongly to the conclusion that those characteristics are to be valued. Conversely, when we observe what we would describe as “negative” characteristics in all whom we disrespect, we will confirm our views that those characteristics are objectionable.

Our self-image is therefore very strongly affected by our values, so much so that the nature of our actual selves can become almost completely obscured. In addition, this self-image can greatly affect our perception of other things. If we value courage, for instance, and have constructed a strong self-image and set of values where courage is present, then we will have a tendency to fear any suggestion of a lack of courage in ourselves. This can create a strong reaction of denial which can greatly alter perception. We may, for instance, have a confrontational situation with a colleague or supervisor at work which generates feelings of fear within ourselves. The person who strongly values courage and has constructed their self-image on that basis is going to be extremely loath to admit the existence of this fear, as it suggests weakness and cowardice to him which is inconsistent with his self-image. As a result, he may come up with any number of other interpretations of the situation which explain away these feelings, or that just simply distract from them. At the very least, he is likely to attribute far more significance to the situation itself than is warranted by reality.

In extreme cases, this internal dissonance can result in complete breakdown. Some soldiers, for instance, create such a self-image of courage, bravado, and strength, that a combat experience that is so strong that they find themselves unable to deny that they are frightened can result in the total destruction of that self-image, leaving the soldier no longer sure about who or what he even is. Even if he recovers from this breakdown, the experience of that destruction can result in him constructing an even stronger but contradictory self-image to compensate for it.

On a more mundane level, people may waste many years and suffer much misery from trying to live up to a self-image they have created for themselves. People may spend years unsuccessfully trying to succeed in a particular career that they have talked themselves into thinking that they want, because they believe that “good people” should want particularly things, and that they themselves therefore do want them. Other people persistently beat themselves up mentally for exhibiting particular reactions to particular situations, because they have convinced themselves that “good people” should not react in such ways, and since they do react in such ways, they must be “bad people” themselves, or at least somehow “deficient.” They talk themselves into perceiving the characteristics that they value in everybody whom they admire, just so they can negatively compare themselves against such people and justify feeling sorry for themselves, for just as having an overly-complimentary self-image is common, so is having an overly-deprecating self-image.

As we described in our previous entry, much suffering is caused not due to something inherent in the world itself, but due to unfavourable comparisons being drawn with ideals, and self-image is probably the most difficult of all ideals to overcome, since it goes to the very heart of what we think we are. But just as the Moon reflects fully the light of the Sun when it is full, so should we strive to perceive the actual nature of our selves and to accept that nature fully without judgment. All the characteristics we have been discussing arise, as we have said, from values, and values are subjective. There is no actual reason why, for instance, courage should be objectively “better” than cowardice, just as there is no actual reason why one should always be immune from emotional reactions to others. Moreover, pretending that those characteristics are not present does not change the fact that they are, and, more importantly, admitting and accepting that they are there does not increase their significance. On a practical level, the person who is afraid of being fearful would be well advised to accept the occasions where he is, because if he does not accept that he is fearful then there is nothing he can do about it.

Further, these characteristics do not necessarily reflect on the nature of the person themselves; it does not follow that because a person reacts fearfully to a given situation that he is therefore “a fearful person,” and hence no reason for him to beat himself up over that “fact.” Having “bad thoughts” does not make a person “bad” themselves, any more than having a broken leg does.

For these reasons, there is absolutely no need to judge characteristics we observe in our own beings. There is no reason why we should feel reluctance about accepting that we possess this, that, or the other characteristic; it should be accepted as a simple acknowledgement free from any associations of “good” or “bad.” As we saw when discussing idealism, it is not the existence of these characteristics in themselves which causes discomfort, but the fact that we are comparing them against an – often highly unrealistic – ideal.

When looking at the full Moon today, recall to mind how it fully reflects the light of the Sun, and let go of the ideals and judgments which prevent your conscious mind from fully reflecting the light of your own self. Each person is unique, whole, and necessary, and it is a straightforward logical error to conclude that any one person can be “better” or “worse” than another because of differences in the characteristics that they exhibit. There is no advantage is pretending or trying to be something that you are not, and the conflict and dissonance that arises as a result of the difference between “actual self” and “imagined self” can be highly detrimental to both well-being and effectiveness.